Gregory Russell Benedikt

Slapping Your Soul Back in The Driver's Seat & Why Your Woman is Mad At You

Published 3 months ago • 2 min read

Hi Reader,

Only a few more days until Thanksgiving!

Or as I've heard it humorously called:

National Turkey Genocide Day.

This year I am grateful for you, Reader.

And the fact that we are not turkeys...

What I'm learning about 🧠

The anatomy of an argument.

This is from the book Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

A must-read for anyone in a relationship.

This model resonated deeply.

It also showed me how often I've been getting things wrong.

  1. A woman expresses her upset feelings about XYZ
  2. A man explains why she shouldn’t be upset about XYZ
  3. She feels invalidated and becomes more upset. She is now more upset about being invalidated than about XYZ
  4. He feels her disapproval and becomes upset. He blames her for upsetting him and expects an apology before making up.
  5. She apologizes and wonders what happened, or she becomes more upset and the argument escalates into a battle.

Men often tell each other to "stop worrying about it, it's not a big deal."

As a man, this helps me zoom out and let things go.

It feels good.

But according to this book (and my personal experience)...

Trying to explain why you shouldn't be upset is not fondly received by the female population.

Bonus confirmation comes from my Mom.

She read this book years ago and I can see what she starred and underlined! 😅

What I'm thinking about 💭

How we've got the order backward.

I bet you've heard people talk about their "mind, body, and soul."

Some people even set goals related to each of them.

But I think we've got the order backward.

I think we should look at things as:

Soul -> Body -> Mind.

Here's why:

Your soul is your guide and your highest calling.

It gently lets you know (through intuition) what it wants for you.

Your soul is like a GPS, that will guide you to your full potential.

But here's the tricky part.

The soul whispers which means it's easy to miss your turn.

It can be hard to hear its gentle guidance through all the noise.

Putting the soul first means slowing down and quieting down.

To listen and feel for where it's leading you.

Next comes the body, which is your vehicle made of meat.

It delivers you through space and time.

It takes you to where you're meant to go.

Taking care of your body means you don't break down on the side of the road.

Last comes the mind.

The mind is like a supercomputer.

Incredibly efficient at calculating, problem-solving, and rationalizing.

But the mind is a terrible driver.

It's meant to follow the soul's directions, not plot the course.

If it's in charge, it will drive you toward endless achievement and hustle.

The mind is more concerned with mileage than meaning.

So stop letting your mind drive.

Slap your soul back in the driver's seat and set off on an epic journey.

I think you'll find the ride much more enjoyable this way.

What I'm reading 📖

I just started The Ballad of Songbird and Snakes.

This is the newest Hunger Games novel.

It's a prequel, detailing the adolescence of Coriolanus Snow.

I'm just a few chapters in and it's already quite captivating.

I'm seeing the movie tomorrow night so it's a race to finish it.

Wish me luck!

Quote of the week 📜

"What makes life worth living? No child asks itself that question. To children life is self-evident. Life goes without saying: whether it is good or bad makes no difference. This is because children don't see the world, don't observe the world, don't contemplate the world, but are so deeply immersed in the world that they don't distinguish between it and their own selves."

- Karl Ove Knausgård

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Sent with love,

Gregory Russell Benedikt

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Gregory Russell Benedikt

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